That isn’t the focus of today’s entry though. There’s no shortage of end-of-year networking events around a holiday theme. The end of another calendar year ushers in an urgency to get things done at the last minute or to pull out all the stops for a memorable bash.

I went to one such event last night. It wasn’t the first time I’ve showed my face at one of these gatherings targeted specifically for women. Since it was a holiday gathering it was much larger than usual, amalgamating three separate groups in one location. One thing that networking group organizers do not emphasize – perhaps either because its supposed to be an unspoken social rule/assumption or because its social value is diminished – is that it takes consistent and continual face time to establish human trust and credibility within the group. There is no substitute for face time in real time. I know, I know – it’s a faux pas to denigrate social media when it’s highest and most enlightened use is about building trust and community online. I’ll say it if nobody else will – social media is overrated compared to the simple but not simplistic act of talking to another person about what matters to you.

If there’s a local disaster, especially one that disrupts and destroys physical infrastructure, you’re not going to be focused on tweeting your followers halfway around the world. In the event of, oh say…an earthquake, which by the way we’re waaaaaay overdue for here in Los Angeles, you’re going to want to know if your family and friends are safe. Maybe you’ll need medical attention or know someone who does. You’re going to be looking for the gas valve because you can smell a leak and freaking out if you never took the time to learn how to shut the gas off. You’re going to be upset because the tap water may not be safe to drink and you’ll be waiting in line with hundreds of other unprepared individuals for the basic necessities. You may even be checking in on neighbors or they’re checking in on you when you’ve never even met before. When the poop hits the fan unexpectedly in the ways that it is prone to do, the social veneers thin or drop away altogether.

At that time, you’ll most want the company of those whom you trust and who trust you. The strength of real social connections shine through and a local real-time community network is only as strong as its weakest links.

The problem is that precious few of us know our neighbors. Sometimes we don’t even know our own family members under the same roof! Family and friends are often far-flung geographically, a symptom of a highly mobile, fractured, and unrooted society. Whom do you really know? Whom do you trust? Who has your back and do you in turn have theirs?

Networking events only help those who discover energetic affinities with others who happen to be in attendance as well. The reality is that we don’t connect with everyone and we don’t do business with everyone we meet. People tend to want to do business with others they like. For collaborations, you need more than casual affinity. You need trust and credibility.

That brings me to the core of what irritates me about professional networking events. Even when a connection is struck, how many folks actually follow through as they claim they will and contact either a prospective client/customer or service/product provider? If I only had a dollar for every, “I’ll call/e-mail you tomorrow/soon/next week!” that I have heard! Yeah, right. I’ll believe you if it happens. Now I know that social skills have eroded over time, just as our ability to live well with and around each other has diminished in a hyperindividualistic, self-absorbed society, but our need for trust as social animals has NOT diminished in the slightest. You build trust through establishing, among other things, credibility. Is it any wonder why people don’t trust each other anymore because they have squandered all their social capital?

The empty words and promises bother me. I’ll never become inured to their injurious effects and it’s not because I’m thin-skinned. Everyone who has made me a meaningless pledge or promise, intentionally or otherwise, has lost credibility with me. They won’t easily earn it back because they thought so little of making empty promises in the first place. I’m not likely to want to do business with someone like that, let alone collaborate professionally. Would you?

from an article titled “The Myths That Lead to Common Landscaping Mistakes” by Marcus Pickett:

“I don’t need professional landscaping services.”
Many homeowners think that since landscaping services lack the technical skill requirements of siding or plumbing installation, it’s inherently a DIY project. It’s true that most people can mow their own lawns or plant a few shrubs, but the opportunity provided by professional landscaping companies shouldn’t be prematurely dismissed. In fact, contrary to many homeowners’ perceptions, professional landscaping is one of the most common, moderately-sized home improvements out there. Along with asphalt roofing and bathroom remodels, residential landscaping is one of only three projects that saw more than 50,000 online requests in 2008 and has an average cost over $4,000, according to ServiceMagic, leading online resource connecting homeowners and home improvement contractors.

It’s a strange misconception that landscaping does not require technical expertise. Sure, you need a designer’s eye to be able to create an aesthetically pleasing landscape (and how many people are gifted with that to begin with?), but to be truly successful in your DIY approach, you need horticultural skills and knowledge as well. Do you have what it takes? The principle of sustainable landscape design is simple: match the horticultural needs of the plants with what the garden site actually provides. What is difficult is the implementation.

Can you afford to keep believing that you don’t need any help in designing your landscape? Mistakes can be very costly and the most egregious mistakes will actually damage the structures themselves. One of the most common mistakes is planting too close to the house. A corollary is putting the wrong plant in the wrong place. For instance, ficus and magnolia trees are commonly used as street trees and in landscaping in Southern CA. Trouble is, both trees have roots that regularly lift sidewalks and destroy foundations given enough time, not to mention “bumpy lawn syndrome”

If I had a dollar for every landscaping and garden screw up I’ve witnessed and observed thus far…

Believe it or not, dieback is not inevitable for all lawns. For one, you need the right grass species. There are some lovely CA natives that work well for smaller stretches of lawn. For another, the lawn has to be “trained” to become drought resistant by slowly diminishing the amount of irrigation it receives. Again, not all species of grass are going to be appropriate for this training, which is not for wimps!